驚愕的早晨

=皿= 今天被鬧鐘六點半吵醒,整個是愛睏=_=
渾渾噩噩在床上待到七點,被室友A乒乒乓乓的聲音吵醒=___=
想說好吧,反正要唸書,就下床梳洗.

結果...=口=!!!!!


以下是問卷式內容...


Q1 大清早七點起來,卻發現室友中最要好的那一個一夜未歸,你的第一個反應是?

a 咦!!人咧?
b 她好早出門...
c 哼哼哼哼~好樣的=皿=


Q2 梳洗完,你想還是去找找好了,便跑去她可能會在的地方,結果她竟然不在O口O!! 你的反應?

a 媽媽呀~人呢?
b ...她去睡別人房間吧...
c XX的,跑哪去了!?混蛋!!


Q3 回到房間,左思右想還是不妥,想說聯絡一下比較好但又不希望吵到她,便打起簡訊,你的內容會是...?

a 你跑哪去了?Q口Q!!
b 記得回來喲!
c X的,給我死回來=皿=!


Q4 打完簡訊也發出不久,正當你想做自己的事轉移注意,一個很熟悉的聲音從後面響起,回頭一看,是未歸室友的手機鬧鐘,你的反應是?

a ...對喔,她沒帶手機(驚)
b 糟糕,我的簡訊錢..O口O
c XXXX!這女人! 火皿火


Q5 為了安寧著想,你前去把手機鬧鐘關掉,也看到了自己寄的簡訊,你會做什麼動作?
a 好丟臉,把它刪掉=////=
b 算了,隨便啦(嘆氣)
c ...刪了.= =


Q6 經歷過以上,你現在的心境是?

a 唉...算了,等她自己回來ˊ__ˋ(嘆氣).......(逆來順受)
b 反正沒我的事了@@................................(自我主義)
c 就不要給我回來!!小心我打爆妳!!+皿+......(火氣旺盛)


其實三個都是正解(嘆氣) 不過表面上是a路線,內心是bc參雜= =
就某方面來說,她要去幹麻的確跟我沒關係,但基於朋友立場我還是會擔心(嘆氣)
會生氣是因為就算不回來,好歹也給我封簡訊心安一下,就算沒帶也可以跟人家借或是在門口貼個小紙條告訴我一聲獲是借個電腦在MSN留言什麼的也可以,什麼都沒有留是想考驗我的耐性還是覺得我不會擔心ˊ__ˋ


打完長長一篇日記,我也累了...

也罷,就這樣吧... 我去當個冷血的無口女算了= =


很無聊的隨想


我的心境是孤獨的旅人...
不需要港灣,因為能停泊的只有自己心深處...
不需要武器,因為我有厚重的城牆包圍內心...
哪一天有了港灣,就是痛苦甜蜜參半...
哪一天有人將城牆敲碎,就是我往死亡踏出第一步...
我是脆弱的青鳥,帶給人一點幸福,卻需將自己囚籠...
看著青空,我想...
之所以一直不踏出牢籠,是因為怕受傷害...
之所以站在遠方遙望,是我最後的掙扎...
所以請你不要...拿起槌子敲下...

我的心將毀滅...

Anxiety and alone

I don't know what I need to do.

Recently, I couldn't find my target in life. I spent most of time by myself and I didn't feel bad or sad. I leave the people so far that I couldn't go through and close to them.

I am a lonely bird,
no one can tough my heart,
if someone want,
I can give me to you.

Like a stone on the middle of road,
I would be forget in their memory.
How I can do?
How I can wish?
How I can want?

I am a lonely bird on the tree without any leaves.
I can sing a song to somebody,
but no one want to hear and no one want to see,
I am a lonely bird.

"Diary" Raining day...

After the hot weather, it became raining heavily. It was an unhappy thing like the hot day. I had heard someone said the rain would continue to next Tuesday, it was a bad thing to me. Because I didn't bring any sandals to school, it mean my shoes and my foot maybe be wet and uncomfortable. I hoped the news would be fault this time, because I hope the rain could stop as soon as possible. And on Wednesday I found there was a leak on my sneaker. It was "An evil chance seldom comes alone.", the only thing I could do was calling to my father to ask him whether I have another sneaker in home or not. It was luck that there were a couple of sneaker in my home.

Because of raining all day, sometimes I felt anxious. Maybe it because the final examination would come very soon. = = Ah, the life is made people could not evade the reality.

"Diary" The summer ...

When the time passed from May to June, the weather would become more and more hot. In the dormitory, it was hot and windless. If I opened the window to ventilate, there would be many insect flying into our room. It was a big trouble, because I hated them. Also the hot weather would make some people easy to be anger or lazy. Such as me, I had no power recently.

Many times I woke up because the sun shone strightly on my face. This thing bright one advantage and one disadvantage that I would not be late for class, but would wake up too early. I usually wake up at six o'clock and at the time I didn't have enough sleeping time. It makes me to face a difficult choice whether I sleep again or wake up early or not. = =

"Diary" The family meeting

Last weekend was the annual meeting to my family. In this day, no matter how far people lived should come back. Every year we take this meeting nearly Mother's Day and Father's Day, of course, to celebrate those festival. We took this meeting place in a restaurant which has buffet could let people to take food by self. Because my parents rarely take my brother and me to a restaurant, we always eat too much in this meeting to enjoy the feeling. But sometimes we ate too much that made us feel very bad. It was the "As one makes one's bed so one must lie on it."

This year had one another thing to celebrate, it was my cousin could enter the college. \(^ˇ^)/ Because of his poor Chinese, we were worry about him, it was a happy thing that we all feel luck to him.(Because he was the thirty-third candidate.)

"Thought" If only

When we love someone, we should express our love as we only had one day to love.

The movie I first saw was on the meeting of the faculty. In the beginning, I did not think too much, I just thought it was a love story. And then, it really was a love story, but the movie had another thing I could learn. When we love someone, we should love her/him as we only had one day to love her/him. It was very difficult that because we always think we have much time to company and say love to her/him. But in fact, the truth was very cruel that we may lose in accident. From the movie, I learned to make more serious when I was alive. Maybe my life was short, but I didn’t leave any regret. I thought the chief actor in this movie felt happy, although the survivor (the chief actress) would be pain and sad.

In fact, when the actress sang the last song, I was crying because of sadness. I know it to be reasonable the movie was a tragedy, but I couldn’t help stopping crying. My roommate said I was a susceptible person. I know this thing have a long time, however, I am very easy to cry. = =

"Diary" Mother's day

Although today was Mother's day, but my family celebrated the festival yesterday. You ask me why? Because my mother had other program today. I have complained the thing for five years, when things come to today,I couldn't say any word about it. After all, I was numb about it.

Returning to the article, my father and I subscribed a cake last Sunday. It was a eight inches cake, because my family couldn't eat too high calorie food, so my father choosed raspberry and mulberry. I teasted it not bad, but my mother still thought it too sweet. I didn't give my mother a card, because I didn't know what thing I could write to her. Maybe my mother knew what I think so she didn't ask me write a card to her. Sometimes I felt iniquity, but every time when she went to Hong-Kong alone, the iniquity almost disappeared. Because every time she went out, my father would be alone in home. My father need to work to support my family, if my mother went out the encumbrance arised.

After all, my family's celebration took place for my grandmother, at least, I consider it to be true.

"=_=" Ah, terrible feeling...

I know I should study hard when I am a student. Like much people I stay in a lazy condition after the middle examination of Anatomy, but the middle examination of Physic would come next Wednesday. Maybe I need to take a vacation to store the power which could motivate me to study much harder. I found that I often complain myself about lack of motivation. I am really a awful person, I couldn't make sure if I want to change I am full of remorse.

Ah, sometimes I think I am open-minded, sometimes I feel anxiety about many things. In the final analysis, what kind person I am, I think I was a person who hard to get along with. Because I always feel alone, not only in the people, but also getting along with friends. Did I open my mind when I chat with them? I think answer is "Yes.", but why ? Maybe that because I am not their best friend, getting rid of me, it nothing change in their life. Every time when I looking forward to the sky, I often think if I suddenly disappear, if anyone will be sad or happy...

Ah, thinking too much can not change anything, I should do is going to study now, as for the meaning of my life, let it sleep in the deepest and darkest place.

"Diary" After the exam...

The middle examination of anatomy was finished on May eighth. I could not say anything about the result of the examination, also I had done my best in it, but sometimes I really want to forget it. No matter how the score about the examination, I hope that I couldn't feel regret.

Like the past after the examination, I return to the dormitory. That time I thought I needed to take a rest or go to bed. At the result, I spent about four hours seeing the animation "Gintama". "Gintama" is a funny animation,but sometimes the conversations in it is very vulgar. And then, I spent about three hours playing online game. I know it was unhealthy that staying a long time in the dormitory, but comparing with going shopping, I prefer to staying in the dormitory. How a corrupt life I have! After all, I have a leisurely day.

"Diary" Take a rest

Although the middle examination was not end, I gave myself a leisurely afternoon on Wednesday.
My roommate and I saw the animation change our mind, we laugh very loud together. I hoped we didn't annoy others. After seeing the animation, we went apart to do other leisurely things by ourselves. She went to see the article which were written by others and played RO. I went to play the online game "Pangya" which is a golf-played game. Because I seldom played game too long, I just played about three o'clock and then I felt tired. Because of little sense of iniquity, I spent one o'clock writing the physical report and read some books. At the ending, I went to bed at eleven-thirty. I had a long time to sleep in a good mood.

"=_=" The life...

I often think that my life like walking on the single-plank bridge. If I don't concentrate on it, I would fall into the no end abyss.
The abyss for me are the test grade and my family's thought. I make effort as possible as I can do to let my family happy, because this thing is the only thing can make me feel I am a useful person, and let me feel I am alive. Maybe you think it very ridiculous that that kind life is no meaning. But if I get rid of it, I cannot find why I live.
No matter how I make effort to attend to the people, I always feel lonely. No matter how many friend I have, I never be their best friend. I know it connect to my personality, but it hard to me to make a change. Sometimes I would think why I need to live to suffer many difficulties and unhappy things, and then, I would get a answer : I have to live because if I dead, there are some person would feel sad and pain. So I still live in this world.

"=_=" So tired...

I always felt I was tired that I often want to fall asleep in the class. I knew it was a very bad thing, but sometimes I couldn't control. In the past, I could sleep six to eight hours. But now, it was a desire. I always go to bed between twelve and one o'clock and wake up at five thirty 0r six. The day I can sleep more are Saturday and Sunday. I couldn't understand why my college's life was so busy, especially, I am a freshman in the college. I really want to realize the reason, but I think the answer may give me a sharp warning.

Well, this article was a complaint to my busy life, I think it was a re tribution to my inattentive life in last years.

"Thought" The five people you meet in heaven

The picture come from:

http://www.locuspublishing.com/product.asp?book=1111MA048

When you saw the author you might think I am his faithful reader. That's right, Mitch Albom is one of my favorite writers. His book was warm and fragrant, of course, there were filled with wisdom that can make me think many things.
This book" the five people you meet in heaven" was described a man who lived in a little town near the ocean and worked in the amusement park. The man's name was called Eddie, he was a maintenance worker in the amusement park.
Like the first sentence in this book "The story's beginning is the end." In the beginning, Eddie died on his birthday of eighty-three years old. And then he was brought to the heaven to meet five people who had played an important role in his life.

The first person was blue-skin man whose death resulted from Eddie. He talked to Eddie about what thing he would meet in the heaven and the connection between him and Eddie. And then, Eddie learned the first thing "No one's life is wasted in vain."

The second person Eddie met was the captain who had led him in the war. He told him his life and why he was the second people he met, he shot Eddie's leg for safe Eddie. And he taught one thing to Eddie "You sacrifice something and while gain something."

The third person was a woman Eddie hadn't met before. Her name was Lubby, the same name of the amusement park. She was the first master's wife of the amusement park. She told Eddie about how Eddie's father died and gave him a homework, to forgive his father. "You need to put down your angry and then you would be really peaceful." she said.

The fourth person was his wife, Marglit. Eddie told her about his life after she died. With her, Eddie remebered the love. The fifth person was a little girl called Talla. She was killed by Eddie, he had burned a place when he was in the war. And then, he was forgiven by Talla and knew this was Talla who brought him to the heaven.

This story stimulate deep thought. Every time I read it, I would think about my life. "Did I do wrong thing today?" "The things I do have the meaning?" "What is the meaning about I live?" I don't know the answer now, maybe one day I will gain the answer. Now I need to do is " Don't waste my life and do something to others." Like the author said in the end of this book "The world is built by many stories, and all the stories connect to the one." We must treat well everyone we meet, maybe he/she will be the person who can change your life.

"Thought" Tuesdays with Morrie

The picture come from: http://www.locuspublishing.com/product.asp?book=1111MA008#

I knew this book has been published for many years, but I wanted to introduce it to more people. This book was written about a young man and a old man, they discussed many issues about love, death and life before the old man arrived the end of his life.
The young man was the author, the old man was his college's doctor, Morrie. Morrie was very passionate and kind, he also was intelligent and he enjoyed his life not only he was health but also he suffered from the decease.
Morrie had said " When you learn the death, you will learn how to live..." He tried to realize the death and shared his experiences to others. He had taken place a " Living funeral", beacase he wanted to know the thought about him from his family and friends replace they said it on his real funeral and he couldn't heard them.
He considered we needed to face the difficulty in our life, but not let it control our thought and life. " When you face it you will feel much worse, but when it left, you should tell yourself "Let it go, let it out my mind.""
I like the book, because the emotion in this book is very touching and the expression was very pregnant with meaning. Every time when I read this book, I will start to think about my life and what thing I can do for others. Often I feel regret that I don't make any contribution to others. I just think about myself. I know there are many things I need to learn and to do, but sometimes I feel tired to do them, maybe in my mind, I also want others can give me a respond as the same as I do for them. I know it is too greed that I don't have the qualification to demand it. The thing I really need to learn first maybe is the unselfish.

"Diary"Buried by homework

When the spring vacation was end, I suddenly found that I had much homework.
The first was English, I forgot to preview the new lesson. Before to do it, the computer's homework occurred on my mind. So I change my plan to do the computer's homework first. This homework was to do a PowerPoint which was conformed the style to the teacher's demand. I spent four hours finishing it. Though I finished it, the time was not enough to preview the English lesson clearly, I just read once and did the first and second reading comprehension. And then, I went to bed.
Next day was Monday, I started to write the "life-span development" 's homework, it was easy but had a little problem that it had a limitation in the number of words. After I finished it, I started to delete the extra words.
In addition, I had to write the physic's and medical ethics's report. I thought I need to be more hard.
In the end, let me shout "Please give me more time!"

"Diary" Buried by fruit

Like the title showed, I had been buried by many kind of fruit. Because there weren't a refrigerator in our room and Vivian's mother told us she would take another fruit to us once a week, we needed to eat them during one week.

Last week was two Ha mi melons and four mangoes. This week Vivian took seven oranges and two box of strawberries, coincidentally, my mother brought some fruit to me. It made a terrible thing that if we couldn't finish them this week,we might need to abandon the fruit, so I decided to eat them, at least, one per day. I hope I can finish them before next week. Maybe it will be a mission which is more difficult than prepareing the examination.(Of course, it just kidding.^ˇ^)

"Diary" Something bad will come...

The time elapsed very fast, when I was conscious that, the middle examination is extremely urgent. And then, I only have two weeks to prepare it. My roommate, Vivian, had said it was a "trial day" to judge our effort in the ordinary day. I just produced a forced smile to this, because she said is a truth. And very unfortunately, my cousin's marriage ceremony will take place on April first is before the Anatomy and Physic' middle examination only few days. Now I am very beset by this thing, I need to make a decision between the lessons or relative. To ready for any eventuality, I decide to stay in dormitory to prepare the middle examination this weekend.

In order to lessons, I hope it may be worth of sacrificing a weekend to study. Now what I need maybe is a mind could to cut off all means of retreat. It is the time to make up my mind but I was a little impatient and Impetuous now. I think I need to take a deep breath and shout "Let's go to fight!" to make up my mine, but I think it will scare away my rommate...

"=_=" No power

It is not the first time I don't understand what I need to do. In my life I have anything I need, I have a good family and some good friends. And the most important thing is I don't have a aspiration to have much money or best grades. To my opinion, many things you can have are based on fortune. I know I am a lazy and arbitrary person, it always make my parents worry about me. But I don't want to change myself, in other side, I am a diehard. Maybe one day when I understand what I need to do, and then I will change my life style. But now, it is impossible to me. Who can give me a target to let me have power?
Now I need to do is not let my parents worry about me, so I decide to strive as possible as I can do. Let strive!

"Diary" A busy day

This dairy said the thing was happened in yesterday. Because I was so tired that I didn't have power to do other things last night.

Because I will have a examination at next Tuesday, I didn't go home this weekend. It was a regretted thing was happened after I decided to stay in school. My roommate's computer was broken which reopened many times during a night. Because of this thing, she couldn't do many things which need the computer. So she decided to apply her friend's brother to repair it, and she asked me that whether I could company her. I thought the examination didn't need much time to prepare, so I answer I could. And then we started to discuss the plan for Saturday.

On the Saturday, our alarm clock rang at nine o'clock and woke me up. I closed them and woke my roommate up. We went to the bus station about ten and arrived the Taipei train station about twelve. First, we went to the print shop to print some thing we need to prepare the examination. Second, we ate lunch at CHITAKA which was expensive but tasted good. After the lunch, we went shopping in the underground passage until four o'clock. I didn't buy anything at all, but my roommate found a big stuff animal and wanted to buy it. Because we had another thing to do, she decided to buy it later.

We took the MRT from Taipei train station to her friend's home to repair her computer. It was the first time I went to the stranger's home, her friend's family was very familiar and treated me a meal. To repair the computer spend much time and it didn't finish when we needed to leave at nine o'clock , so we decided to leave it in her friend's home and take it back on next Tuesday. We said goodbye to the family and returned to the Taipei train station to take the prints and buy the stuff animal.(It was a very big strawberry, and it was in our room now.)

When we finished these things, it was about ten. We waited the bus for a half hour and both felt tired. When we back to the dormitory, the time was near the middle night. So after we took the shower, we went to the bed. This day was very busy and fun, although I didn't prepare the examination.

"Diary" A bad night

Today was Monday the most painful day in a week. Although I only had four classes on Monday, I felt tired when I finished the classes at three o'clock p.m. After I finished my class and took four hours to rest in dormitory, the bad thing was happened when I took a shower.
My cell phone rang loudly so that my roommate took it up and talked to the caller. Because this was a man's voice, my roommate thought the caller was my father and told him I was taking a shower and I would call him after the shower. Strangely, the man insisted I needed to take the phone. The man's attitude was very impolite and he spoke in Taiwanese. Unfortunately, my roommate was not good in Taiwanese, so she didn't know how to deal with the thing. She cannot help but she gave me the phone.

(next was the conversation, all them was interpreted straightly .)

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey!" a strange voice said, and then, I understand one thing.

"Hello?" I said again.

"Hey!" he said again, too.

"...Who do you want to speak? " I asked politely.

"xxxxxxxxxx. Give the phone to the phone's master in hurry! The price of the call was expensive!" he said with many impolite word and was very impatient.

"This is my phone.You call the wrong number." I said.

"xxxxxx! Don't say that! Give the phone to him(her)!" he didn't accept the thing and reflected very angry.

"I say you call the wrong number!" I raised my voice.

"Hey! The call was expensive! Hurry up!" he still ignored what I said.

"I don't know who you want to speak, the phone is mine!" I started anger and impatient. Because I was in the middle of taking a shower, I felt so cold that I wanted to finish the ridiculous call.

"Really? Then I call again to check, ok? " he said with sarcasm and distrust.

"Ok." I said and cut the phone immediately.

Of course, the cell phone didn't ring again in the night. But my mood was worse than before. This was the first time I shouted to stranger.

About me

Because I don't know what things I can write first, I decide to post an introduction.

name: Lucia

favorite hobbies: handcraft
favorite food: chocolate and vegetable
favorite novels: "The five people you meet in heaven" "Tuesdays with Morrie" "The Lord of Ring" and "Nightside"
favorite game: Pangya
favorite subject: Chinese
favorite thing: reading and sleeping
favorite person: assiduous person
hateful food: bitter food (for example: balsam pear)
hateful subject: physics
hateful thing: running
hateful person: like to eat but hate to work